I'm moving!!!

Well... I'm not actually moving home but.. I want to!!! No I don't really want to move but right now that's what I want! I'm having one of those moments when you ask God what the h*** you have done so bad for your life to be so miserable! Why do parents have to be so annoying? God! Did someone tell them: Hey, now you're a parent, your mission is to make your children's lives impossible.?Have someone told them that? Ok, listen. I know, I know they want the best for us. I know they love us and I know they're not perfect. But it's so freaking desperating when they act like if they were so sure  that they're right when they're NOT! And you can't say anything. You can't complain because no matter what, they're your parents. They gave you your life and you have to love them, even when they make you want to scream so loud until you lose your voice and even when they make you want to throw yourself from a window;  you have to love them.

Today, my sister and me were talking to my mom, and I brought to subject, the issue about her not letting us go out enough and her treating us like little girls when WE ARE NOT LITTLE GIRLS! So... of course, she always has an answer. Her actual excuse is that: We don't earn what we want. And also, we're not mature enough. Ok, I brought my always USELESS weapon: "But YOU did everything you wanted to do when you were my age! My grandma wasn't as harsh as you are with me." No, no. I didn't win. She always has an answer for that: "My times weren't like these. Being out wasn't so dangerous as it is nowadays. And I also had my older sisters and brothers and blah blah blah..." I DON'T CARE! Sorry if I'm not so lucky to have brothers or older sisters. I am my own older sister! I'm not so lucky to have someone who sists by your side night by night and talk to you about her experiences in life. Yes; it would be wonderful to have that someone who could teach you what to do and what not to do. But I don't have that someone. I have to learn it all by myself. So what?! Do I have to stay grounded at home because of that? NO! I want to learn. I want to LIVE!

I just want her to understand me. I'd like her to see things the way I see them. But she just can't. She's denied to see my point of view. And it's ok! Next time I decide to spend (for nothing) a few minutes talking to her about that issue (though deep inside I know it's useless that I keep trying), this is what I plan to tell her:
Do you want to see your daughter being an old 40 something woman living like a 16 girl? Because that's what you'll get if you don't let me LIVE my young time like YOU lived yours. You'll see me like a crazy old woman hanging at dance clubs every night doing EVERYTHING I COULDN'T DO WHEN I WAS 16. Think about it.

Okay...I already imagined what her answer will be: If you do that, it's your problem. I won't care anymore when you're 40. You'll be an adult by then and your life will be your own responsability, not mine. Not anymore.

Aaaahhh!!! She always win. I haven't told her that yet and I already know that she'll find the way to end up like the winner. It doesn't matter what I do, at the end, my life depends on her. I have to do what she wants me to do, why? Because maybe I'm the one who's afraid to take my own decisions! Maybe it's true. Maybe I'm not mature enough. I don't know... I always end like this. All confused. It gets to a point where I'm not really sure if I'm the one who's right or if she's the one who's, like always, right.

Maybe I should just give up. Face the truth, and the truth is that I DON'T OWN MY LIFE. I can try and try hard to deny it but at the end of the day, parents are the ones who control your life; though we don't like it. Now, why I let them control my life? Because I know they love me and BLAH BLAH BLAH..... the real reason is that I'm not f**** brave enough to tell them that THEY'RE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT! That they're wrong sometimes too. And last
but not least, that MY LIFE IS MY LIFE . (PERIOD)!